What to do with blind spots

What to do, what to do.  When I talk of causing no harm in thought, word or deed I mean it so what do you do when you are in a position where you are damned if you do and damned if you don't?  Sometimes in life, these situations come up and no matter what you do, think or say, you are caught in someone else's blind spot and are powerless to act without causing harm.

In Buddhism there is the talk of "blind spots".  Places in our character where we have weaknesses or other actions we are blind to see how they cause harm.  

I have found for myself, the best way to find them is with mirroring.  As soon as I say or think something about someone else I stop and ask myself how it is mine.  I have learned over the years how to own many things about myself...this is freeing but also challenging because now, I can easily say more about another and own it! lol, not good when your trying to NOT fall into that trap of judging, criticizing or being critical of others!

I have always known I LOVE TO COMMUNICATE.  My mercury, mars and venus are all in a place of communication! I also know I love to gossip.  Not so much in the ways others, but I love talking to new people and learning new things.  I also, however due to my past,  don't trust myself all the time in what I am intuiting and sometimes like feedback and confirmation especially since I have been betrayed and let down so often. It can warp your judgement!  I have a few confidants far away I use to help me keep myself in balance, and to be sure my own weaknesses and blindspots are not interfering with what I am trying to discern.  And that is what I mean, DISCERN, not judge.  I have no attachment to what I am looking at, I just want to keep my balance and see things from all sides...likely have a libra rising sign!

At any rate, sometimes in spite of all my efforts, I get caught like a deer in headlights. I can see the car coming but I am stuck and unsure of which way to move.

One thing I have learned is that when a person is prone to something such as talking about others behind their backs, they then think everyone is talking about them!  I guess I don't do that because it never occurs to me I could be interesting enough to be anyone's topic of conversation until I hear it with my own ears.  Once I do however, if it is not respectful, my trust is gone the way of the doo doo bird!

So now, what do you do when you are stuck in a situation when you are caught in someone else's blind spot?  When you have done nothing wrong however even though the wrong has been done to you, they are blind to their own mirroring and now your actions are being scrutinized.

I for one have no idea, but I do know from experience, that those associated with someone who is become the target, is not a safe place for another to be with simply because it provides fuel.

I once was teaching and because friends with someone who was having problems with her new boss who was threatened by her. I was good at my job and liked by the students however it was clear I was this person's friend and confidant...guess what, I could not stay.  It was guilt by association plain and simple.

So, is it my decision to keep other's away?  How can I say that they are better off being away from me without causing insight into the situation?  That is not going to work, I want no party to that sort of separation business.  

In Buddhism there is a simple saying "Victory be yours".  For the sake of the bigger picture you let go of ego and allow the other to win.  I think that is the best thing in this case.  Sometimes you just have to live in the now, be as present as possible and leave as much behind you moment to moment as humanly possible for all involved.  I know now why I have had crane come into my life, it is time to be an individual and stand alone!