Nothing Quite The Feeling of Holding a Proof Copy for the First Time!

I flew over to the other side of BC to drive my bike back and while I was gone, I made arrangements to have my proofs arrive for the next in my series of illustrated picture books and colouring books. I am so glad I did!

Anyone who does this sort of self-publishing will tell you, it requires a certain degree of self-discipline and determinations as well as a strong belief in what you are doing to keep slugging away at creating books.

In my case, I am dealing with a few definate handicaps that has made doing what I do even more difficult. One of which is my life is up in the air right now.

As with being a visual artist, which I was for many years, the main problem is finding time to do what you love, and also juggling paying the bills and keeping a roof over your head. It isn't an easy feat!

So when you are making sacrafices like giving up monetary gain to do what you love, it is good to actually physically hold the results of your labours. This is especially true when you stop in to visit your 24 year old son and his computer set up and tablet are a 100 times better than your own!

While I work using a very ancient tablet with a worn out stylus to create my colouring pages (which don't get me wrong, is ten times better than a mouse!), he as a HUGE full-on drawing tablet monitor that makes what I have look like a stone hammer and chisel! lol! 

Driving in May over a mountain-pass in a hail storm on a motorcycle where you can't feel your fingers and everything is greasy is no easy feat. Doing it over more than one; up and down mountains is even less easy however sometimes I think the concentration it takes to use a pen and stylus to making colouring pages is more difficult!

In both cases though, I managed make it! I drove from Cranbrook to Victoria after stopping to visit my son in Vancouver. I started on a Saturday morning (in the rain- it rained almost everywhere - or snowed). and drove about 1000km. My 650 Yamaha customized Silverado was wonderful and as greasy as it was, and terribly uncomfortable due to the weather conditions, it still wasn't a bad trip. And when I finally found my way home, there was my proofs waiting for me! What a treat!

Of course, my eye immediately becomes critical which is why they are proofs, however holding those books reminds me of why I am doing what I do!

I don't think anyone who self-publishes does it just for a job or means to make a living. I think there HAS to be more to it than that since there is so many obstacles and issues to deal with on a regular basis.

I know I am writing this series because I feel like I have to do something in these dark times. And don't get me wrong, I do believe we are in dark times! If things don't change concerning our priorities as a species, and if we don't smarten up and take better care of this planet, mother earth is going to start shaking us fleas off her back in a big way!

If Covid has taught us nothing, it is just how much of an impact we are having as a species on this planet. Look has quickly things improved when everywhere everyone was in lock-down? In a matter of weeks smog lifted, endangered species returned to lay eggs or whatever. Wow! It was amazing. I flew over San Francisco for the first time and could actually see the water! It was beautiful!!!!

I can't change the thinking of corporate greedy sociopaths who are raping the planet, nor can I stop a steroid crazed dictator. I can however, maybe just maybe, introduce children to another way of viewing this planet and give them a different idea about what it is to live on it.

In my experience as a Teacher's Assistant, I have dealt with MANY children who were not the norm. Who, for all anyone knew, could have been exceptional, however it is also my experience that institutions mold and limit the gifted and those who could very well be the future of this planet.

My tiny little book, may inspire a child. May spark something that leads to something greater because what I am doing is NOT the norm. It is NOT what is already being done or on the beaten path and that is why I a feel so compelled to create them.

It is also why getting proofs is so important. Anyone who has ever done anything that wasn't accepted or original will tell you, it isn't easy to stand up and do something different from everything else, especially when there are sacrafices involved, including to ego, 

Every so often one needs a boost, a lift, a reinforcement. I have shared my proofs with kids and asked them to write down their thoughts on the proofs. They have been both my main guides and my inspiration. Their feedback I still have in writing to remind me of why I am doing what I do despite using a tablet that I want to throw out the window most days or constantly having to find ways to pay the rent or buy food!

There are so many judgemental people in the world right now. Who have very fixed views on what success means and it isn't easy to live with this. Biting the bullet and carrying on when I could easily do things the "right way" or the "easy way". However like I tell my kids I work with who are often labeled "oppositional Defiant" (ODD), it is about being stubborn in the right direction. It isn't about going against what others are doing, it is about supporting instead what you want to do; what you believe in. And if you don't believe in anything, then find something! Such a fine change in semantics but one that can make all the difference, and in this case, even in a child's world.

So you see, one journey of a thousand Kilometres on a motorcycle through snow covered passes in sleet and snow, can sometimes be less challenging than just doing something you believe in. This is why, getting proofs now and then, is such an important part of the INDIE writer's journey!