HAVE YOU EVER WOKE UP AND THOUGHT:"WHAT THE HEY?!?!?"

It never ceases to amaze me how many twists and turns life can throw at you. One day your bopping along going in this directions, then life throws you a curve ball and your off in another!

The questions I have always wondered is it all part of some greater plan I am not aware of like some believe, or is it just random happenings that have no logical order or sense to them?  Really, how can one know which is the case or is it both?

In examining things, I have decided the answer doesn't really matter as much as how I decide to look at things.  Which is the best approach for me?

Do I really want to believe my life is out of my control and in the hands of some god, deity or happenstance? Or do I want to believe that every action I make, decide or perhaps even think, all play a part in where I go next?

I think I want to believe the latter!  I had a really crappy childhood that would make most folks' lives look like a trip to the park....mine was more a trip to the zoo.

And even though the protagonist in my novel isn't ALL me but an accumulation of many individuals I have met in my travels doing the advocacy and other work I did, it doesn't mean I cannot not relate to her thoughts.  I should think, many of us have had similar!

Years ago I had to make a decision as to whether I was going to stay where I was at, buy into the crap being shovelled into my life, or walk away and decide to make myself the creator of my own destiny.  I knew if I didn't I would likely wind up in some sort of living hell that I would eventually end.  So what did I do?

I went against it all, including the blind foolish narrow-minded help and labels, the thoughtless road to hell good intentions and I walked off the end of the cliff!  And I have never looked back any more than I have to!  Why, because I realized very quickly, nothing good would ever come of it!

I tried the therapy..MANY types really, and what I found out in the end, is that I lived it once, the thought I needed to replay it, was only rehearsing and reinforcing the feelings and drama I had already endured.

Don't get me wrong, for some folks, they need to talk about things, but when it is done, it needs to be done.  Learning new skills for coping is far more helpful than flogging a dead horse!  You suffered, it was this well now it is time to look forward and decide what is next!

Recently I had to remind myself of this.  That if I am not happy where I am at, and where I am heading, it is up to me to change it!  And you know what?  I have made a plan, set goals and I am working towards them. Now it is time to carry on and give the universe the space for it's input and support as well as my own!

I shall never let ANYONE tell me who I am or where I am going or what my limits are!  THAT IS MY JOB AND NO ONE ELSES! And it is yours too!