Have you ever heard of a writer who only seemed to have one master piece in him or one Olympic athlete who only ever won one championship or one gold medal no matter how hard he or she tried? I have come to think of expectations as not much different than that one skater who took a crowbar to another skater's kneecaps! I can't think of anything more crippling than both expectations and preciousness which to me, are NOT the same thing! I talked in another blog about those "golden paintings" that only come by once in a while and when they do, they come so effortlessly or so it seems. A big problem with these sort of peak achievements is that a person can forget they come along only after an accumulation of many other average paintings and tons of experiences; that appearance as a "good" piece of work whether it is writing, painting, etc wasn't something that just "happened". This is especially true when you are just getting into something and you don't understand or have the correct attitude about these "goldens". You are liable to fall into the expectation trap! A trap, that I think happens for a two fold reason... On the one hand, you think, I did it so easily, it should now be easy to do it again. The other reason is because it was so good, that the "golden" becomes "precious". Preciousness can be as debilitating as expectations because both put you in a stand still position. If it is expectations, you cannot move forward because you have wrapped yourself in this rope of thoughts about what you SHOULD be able to do . Preciousness means you cannot move forward because given so much power to what you have already successfully achieved that you get stuck wondering if you can do again what you have already done. One keeps you clinging to past accomplishments and the other keeps you stuck in fear of failing to live up to what you want to do again so cannot move forward. Either way, you get stuck. I can honestly say I have never had writer's block. I have attended a few workshops and that is the first thing they start out with. I have never had writer's block because I have never had the EXPECTATION of having it and I am not about to start now. I will write in more detail about this later on. For now, just remember to accept the praise, say thank you, and move on. Sure, FEEL and be pleased about your accomplishment HOWEVER THAT IS AS FAR AS IT NEED GO. Keep your ego out of it! Accept with humility that yes, it was good, and leave the expectation of something else being as good behind. Keep yourself off that pedestal! Keep you feet on the ground and don't get stuck with your head caught up in your past achievements. They will bind you every time. I have learned to NEVER say (unless I know it is for publicity purposes only), that I have done this for so many years. It is a trap to think this way. You start to think you have the key to success or whatever it is you are aiming for, and in doing that, you block yourself in so you can't go forward and find more avenues to explore. A smart artist knows the value of humility and even though they may be confident, that does not mean they are arrogant to the point where there is nothing left for them to learn or grow from. This is a famous painting by American realist painter Andrew N Wyeth called Christina's World. I remember taking a workshop in Nova Scotia with artist Jeannie Hancock. One particular week it was on watercolour painting. I will never forget her words. Folks were all doing these very detailed watercolours that she would say, something like, "ok, that's good, now destroy it!" She explained how this artist Andrew Wyeth would paint such detailed work but at the same time do some extraordinary things to destroy his work in the process of making it such as dragging it behind a moving car! I don't know if this was true, however I expect she was correct. She was the first teacher to introduce me to the trap of preciousness. By preciousness, I am not confusing it with respect. One can respect their work without putting up into that category of preciousness. So if you feel like that blank canvas is staring back at you; blocking you or that blank screen or paper is just so white, then just let go of it being precious. The journey is about the mistakes; NOT the accomplishments in this game called inspiration and creativity.
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June 2024
AuthorArtist, Buddhist, Educator, Traveller, Cabinet Maker, kayaker, etc and now writer! |