You spend over 20 years of your life dedicated to the upbringing of another, and then one day, it is all different.
When I found out I was pregnant, (which was almost immediate) I decided right then and there to make changes so I packed all that I owned and wanted to keep in my car and left Nova Scotia for distance lands. After driving for days I landed on the west coast of Canada and could go no farther. I sat on a tree in Stanley Park and decided, shall I go north or south. My little voice said "north" so that is where I went. Thanks to my Kermodie bear totem, I landed a place as caretaker of this lovely fully self contained, off the grid cottage on a little lake. This is where I had my son and stayed until he was over a year old I believe. Then I decided it wasn't the best place to raise him even though I loved it. I packed everything and moved back to Nova Scotia until he back packed across Canada himself and landed in BC! He returned to the mountains he was born to and I am glad. This however left me in a quandary about what to do next with my life. I had never once regretted being a single mom and I was told I was very good at it...(was 35 when I had him so I already had had a life!). My philosophy was that he was really only mine the nine months I carried him, then my job was to prepare him for his own life. And I did and it was successful. I have no worries about him. He will find his way, and do his thing and likely do more than survive. Now I sit looking out over a beautiful lake in the Kamloops in BC where I am Wwoofing. I love watching the changing of the light, how the trees sing in the wind, how the fish jump. I love looking up and watching the ever changing mountains; where did the snow go? By the look of the level of the lake, likely into it! As much as I love my home of Nova Scotia, and appreciate it's beauty, it has never spoken to me, It has never said "home". When I stepped off the plane in Thailand, it was like the very energy of the land welcomed me. If it was not for the climate and the fact this body cannot take extreme heat (don't sweat properly), I would be there. So this post is for anyone who knows they have reached the end of a cycle, that they can feel a radical change is coming, however they have no idea what or how it will happen. I know change is part of life, however some changes are more major than others, and is there really any way to prepare when you don't know what is coming? Or even what you want? I guess I shall do what I have always done, be still, listen and wait. In the end, all usually becomes clear. After years of caring for others, there are times I wish it was my turn, however I have been so independent for so long, I have no idea what that would actually mean. I have never missed what I have never had so for this I am eternally grateful! I have known the real love of a mother, came to me later and certainly not my birth mother, but I knew it none the less and I have known the love of a child. This too I am grateful for. I have also known the love of friends, many sadly have passed, but it was good. So now, I wait and see where next my heart takes me...for there is one thing I know about myself; if my heart isn't in it, I cannot do it. Makes life challenging, however I have learned the hard way, in the end it is far better to live true to one's self than allow the dictates of others decide my destiny.
14 Comments
7/25/2019 10:46:13 pm
I am happy to have learned something new when it comes to writing. I have always been an aspiring writer, in fact, I believe that it is something that I wish to pursue in the future. While I do love writing, I am still not confident with what I can and cannot do in this field. I have always known that I am never going to be good enough for it, but regardless, I still struggle to be better. In short, I appreciate your tips on writing.
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The tambourine, a percussion instrument, consists of a frame with jingles or zills attached. It is played by shaking or striking with the hand, adding a bright, rhythmic accent to music. Used in a variety of genres, from classical to pop, the tambourine's simplicity and cheerful sound make it a popular choice for enhancing musical textures.
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6/10/2024 10:50:52 pm
Classic car enthusiasts often rely on car shipping services to transport their prized vehicles to car shows and events. Enclosed transport is commonly used for these vehicles to ensure they arrive in pristine condition, ready to be showcased to fellow enthusiasts and judges.
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6/10/2024 10:56:21 pm
Penticton wine tours can be tailored to focus on specific wine themes, such as organic wines, sparkling wines, or rare varietals. Themed tours offer a deep dive into particular aspects of winemaking, providing specialized knowledge and tasting experiences. These tours are ideal for those with specific wine interests looking to expand their understanding and appreciation of their favorite styles.
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6/10/2024 11:04:13 pm
The bond between log home restoration specialists and their clients often extends beyond the project. Many homeowners develop long-term relationships with these professionals, relying on them for ongoing maintenance and advice, fostering a sense of trust and reliability.
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6/10/2024 11:10:53 pm
Vacation rentals in Bend often come with private outdoor spaces, perfect for enjoying the area's natural beauty. Whether it's a deck with mountain views, a patio with a fire pit, or a garden with native plants, these spaces provide a peaceful retreat after a day of exploration.
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6/10/2024 11:14:40 pm
One of the benefits of using lash enhancers is the natural appearance they offer. Unlike false lashes or heavy mascara, which can look artificial or clumpy, lash enhancers work with your natural lashes. This results in a subtle, yet noticeable improvement that enhances your overall look without appearing overdone.
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6/10/2024 11:18:58 pm
Employers face substantial risks when hiring individuals with fake diplomas. Aside from potential legal issues, there is the risk of hiring unqualified staff, which can lead to operational inefficiencies and damage to the company's reputation. Thorough background checks are essential to mitigate these risks.
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6/10/2024 11:23:12 pm
Garage door panel damage can occur from accidents or weather-related events. Dented or cracked panels not only look unsightly but can also affect the door's structural integrity. Replacing damaged panels restores the door's appearance and functionality. Professional technicians can match new panels to your existing door for a seamless repair.
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6/11/2024 12:46:11 am
In regions with extreme weather, additional weatherproofing measures, such as reinforced membranes and enhanced insulation, are necessary. These steps ensure the roof can withstand harsh conditions and remain functional.
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6/11/2024 01:04:11 am
Mediation is a voluntary process, meaning that all parties must agree to participate willingly. This voluntary nature is essential for the success of mediation, as it fosters a cooperative rather than adversarial environment. Participants are more likely to reach a satisfactory agreement when they are actively engaged and committed to finding a solution.
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6/11/2024 01:08:56 am
The availability of moving vans can vary based on location and demand. In rural or remote areas, options may be more limited, requiring early reservations and careful planning. Urban areas typically have more rental companies and van options, but high demand can also necessitate early booking.
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6/11/2024 01:13:55 am
Winter weather in certain parts of California can cause gate mechanisms to freeze or malfunction. Repair services include lubricating moving parts, fixing any weather-related damage, and ensuring gates operate smoothly throughout colder months.
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6/11/2024 01:18:06 am
For those living in sunny climates, window tinting is almost essential. It significantly reduces the intensity of the sun's rays, making the interior environment more bearable and protecting against heat-related discomfort.
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June 2024
AuthorArtist, Buddhist, Educator, Traveller, Cabinet Maker, kayaker, etc and now writer! |